Jeopardy, Fushigi Yuugi Style!
by Kirona of the Skies
Summary: This is what happens when a psycho author fangirl gets bored. She writes freaky fanfiction. oO;;


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Fûshigi Yûgi characters, though Chichiri is quite welcome at my place anytime. Ahaha...anyhoo, I did get my inspiration from Saturday Night Live. If you were wondering. Nobody was harmed in the writing of this fanfic. Except maybe a few oranges.   
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Hello, and welcome to Jeopardy! I'm your host, Tai Yi-Jun! We return from the commercial break with the scores standing at—  
  
Lai Lai: Hiya, Hiya!  
  
Lai Lai: Hi Hi!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: SHUT UP!  
  
::silence::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::cough:: as I was saying, scores currently stand with Nakago at $0...  
  
Nakago: I am a god! Mwhahaha!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Chichiri at $7...  
  
Chichiri: No da!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: and Tamahome at -$469.  
  
Tamahome: HI MIAKA! I LOVE YOU!!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::sweatdrop:: riiiight...anyway, the categories are—  
  
Lai Lai: FRUITS THAT ARE ORANGE!  
  
Lai Lai: COLORS!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: LET ME TALK!!  
  
::more silence::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Thank you. As I was saying, the categories are; Fruits that are orange, colors, things that you write with, and birds ending with "-uck". With that out of the way...  
  
Lai Lai: Tamahome picks a category!  
  
Tamahome: Um...I pick Miaka!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: That is not a category, Mr. Tamahome.  
  
Tamahome: How about Miaka's eyes?  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Also not a category.  
  
Tamahome: OOH! How about Miaka's—  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::interrupts:: Chichiri, how about YOU pick a category?  
  
Chichiri: No da!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Ooookaaay...category is fruits that are orange for $100...just say orange.  
  
Tamahome: ::buzzes in::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Yes, Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: AHHH! YOU'RE SO UGLY, I CAN'T STAND IT!!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::sweatdrop::  
  
Tamahome: ::continues to scream:: MY EYES! THEY BURN! I NEED MIAKA THERAPY!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::vein:: That's...incorrect...  
  
Nakago: ::buzzes in::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::exasperatedly:: Yes, Nakago?  
  
Nakago: Orange...and with the all-powerful acidity of the all-powerful orange, I will become god of my creator's world!  
  
Tamahome: OVER MY DEAD BODY!  
  
Nakago: THEN DIE! ::throws orange::  
  
Tamahome: NEVER! ::throws orange::  
  
::Tamahome and Nakago immerse themselves in an orange fight::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Um...okay then! Despite the fact that Nakago tried to kill Tamahome and take over the world in the process, he DID answer correctly. So Nakago has $100 now.  
  
Lai Lai: Nakago is winning! Nakago is winning!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Yes, we know that...  
  
Nakago: ::stops mid-throw:: I'm winning? Seriously?  
  
Tamahome: ::throws orange:: ::orange squirts juice::  
  
Nakago: OW! MY EYE!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: All right, then, birds ending with "-uck" for $100...  
  
Chichiri: ::buzzes in::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::fearfully:: Yes, Chichiri...?  
  
Chichiri: No daaaa...  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: "No da" is not an—  
  
Chichiri: daaaaaaaauck!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Eh? What was that?  
  
Chichiri: Daaauck!  
  
Everyone: ::goggles at Chichiri::  
  
Tamahome: He...talked!  
  
Nakago: Somewhat normally!  
  
Both: WOOOWWWWWW!  
  
Chichiri: No da!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Well, that was a surprise. Now...  
  
Lai Lai: Chichiri's winning again!!!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!!  
  
::silence::  
  
Nakago: ::throws orange::  
  
Tamahome: ANATA WA BAKA DESU!!!! ::re-immerses himself in orange fight::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: I will take the liberty of choosing a category, since our contestants are completely illiterate...Oh, look, things you write with for $100 is the double jeopardy...Chichiri, what is your wager?  
  
Chichiri: No da!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: All of it? Very well, then, take a guess...  
  
Chichiri: No da! ::brandishes electronic pen::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Wow...the one who is incapable of normal speech is the smartest...that is truly pathetic.  
  
Tamahome: ::throws orange:: ::misses Nakago and hits Tai Yi-Jun::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: ::vein:: Ok, I will ignore the fact that a foreign object has just been thrown at my head and start final jeopardy to get away from you people...the category is "foods that start with "ap-"and end with "-ple". I am scared.  
  
::all three furiously write::  
  
::jeopardy music::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Ok, time is up, stop writing...  
  
Nakago: ::continues to write::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: NAKAGO!  
  
Nakago: Whaat?  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: STOP WRITING!  
  
Nakago: ::drops electronic pen::  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Thank you. Tamahome, it doesn't matter what you wager, because you're so far into the negatives there is no hope for you at all, so let's see what you answered...Oh my, and I thought it couldn't get any worse...  
  
Tamahome: But I DO love Miaka!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: But "I love Miaka" is NOT an answer. Nakago, you currently have $100. And...you wagered $1000.  
  
Nakago: I decided that if I'm going to be god, I might as well have a lot of money.  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Riiight. So you've wagered more than you actually have...what is your answer, I wonder...oh, Suzaku, help us...  
  
Nakago: ::reads answer:: I am god, so it doesn't matter! Whatever I say is right!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Ok, so Nakago is now at $0...Chichiri, your wager?  
  
Chichiri: No da!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Ok, you've also wagered it all. And no doubt your answer is...  
  
Chichiri: No da!  
  
Tai Yi-Jun: Yes, that's what I thought. So, it's official, you're all full- fledged idiots. Since you've all lost, I get the money, and you all can go home crying to your gods...or Miaka, if your name is Tamahome...goodbye! ::runs off cackling madly, Lai Lai skipping along behind her::  
  
THE END OF MY MESSED UP, RANDOM STORY!!! 


End file.
